


dig them up

by wordonawing



Category: Neverwhere - All Media Types, Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
Genre: Character Study, Multi, Platonic Relationships, Richard is an idiot, a bit - Freeform, also Door is too, i do greek i know the plural, i'm obsessed with harmatiai, just read it please, the Marquis is exasperated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/713971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordonawing/pseuds/wordonawing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Richard quite a while to find out Door’s weakness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dig them up

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to cynicalRaconteur, aka the best Marquis, for Helping A Lot. also for being generally the coolest person ever.  
> kindofsortof based on 'Flaws' by Bastille.

It takes Richard quite a while to find out Door’s weakness.

The Marquis would say caring for others at all is a weakness that is to be avoided at all times (even as he flicks Door’s hair back from her face as she sleeps, or throws an arm across Richard’s chest to stop him from plunging down a lift shaft). He insists on denying that he feels any sort of loyalty towards them, only offering a curt “It’s a _business_ relationship, nothing more” when pressed. But Richard’s getting better at noticing the little things, like the dusty sadness in the Marquis’ eyes when he warns them that it’ll only end badly, for one or both of you, or how he keeps on saving their lives and doesn't ask for favours in return, or the way he curls himself around them “for warmth” after each and every near miss.

If Richard didn't know better, he'd say that the Marquis cared about someone, once.

Maybe that's why he always scolds Richard (he's always had a way of making him feel like an errant child, ever since the day they met) for being too kind.

"How can you be too kind?"

The Marquis pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply, as if it pained him to have to explain something so glaringly obvious. "You can be too kind, my dear man, by stopping in the middle of a daring escape from the Shepherd Queen's men to offer a sandwich to a rat because - " his long fingers curled invisible quote-marks around the words " - it looked hungry."

"But it did!" Way to go, Richard. Really sterling comeback there. Makes you sound so mature, doesn't it? (Sometimes, Richard thinks the snarky part of his brain sounds almost exactly like de Carabas.)

The Marquis sighed again and fell elegantly (how else?) into a chair, taking out a battered copy of The Odyssey and promptly ignoring Richard, who stood there for a few moments before going to find Door, only just preventing himself from kicking the bookshelf on the way out.

Richard supposes the Marquis has a point, much as it pains him to admit it. The Marquis usually has a point. It's not always relevant, or well backed-up, but it is always there. Richard just likes helping people. Maybe he should've been a doctor. But, a), seven years is long time to spend in medical school, b), he probably wouldn't have passed the exams anyway, c), he's too lazy, and d), he would never have been walking along that pavement with Jessica straightening the tie she'd bought him every five minutes because apparently he had "the wrong shaped neck".

Richard is full of flaws, of course. Once the Marquis actually made a list on the back of an Oxfam flyer they found in Notting Hill.

_1) too nice._

_2) scared of everything._

_3) even Door._

("But Door's scary!"

"She's shorter than you, Richard."

"That doesn't matter when there are no more chocolate digestives left and she spots you about to eat the last one."

The Marquis considered for a moment, tapping his pencil against his chin. "Hmm. I suppose you have a point." He scrubbed out number three and replaced it.)

_3) can't cook._

("Hey, that's not fair."

"Why not? You can't."

"Well, you're not exactly Jamie Oliver, are you?"

The Marquis looked at Richard blankly.

"Oh, come on. Jamie Oliver?"

No response.

"You don't know who Jamie Oliver is?"

"Not a clue. I presume some kind of chef from the Upworld?"

Richard ran a hand through his shaggy hair (he really must get onto Door about cutting it) and sighed. "Never mind. What I meant was, that's not a valid point. You can't cook either."

"Why does that make it less valid?"

"Well - because - it's relative, isn't it?"

The Marquis thought for a moment, before shaking his head decisively. "No, it isn't. You can't cook.")

_4) can't fight to save his life. literally._

("I'm getting better!"

The Marquis looked at him.

"Well, I'm not getting worse, am I?"

"Richard, where you were initially, there is no getting worse.")

_5) stupid._

(Here Richard opened his mouth, thought about it, and closed it again.)

_6)_

(The Marquis paused, twirling the pencil between his fingers. "Hmm. What else is rubbish about you?" He looked Richard up and down studiously. "Aha!" He clicked his fingers and put pencil to paper once more. "I have it!")

_6) bad dress sense._

(Richard looked at de Carabas.

De Carabas looked at Richard.

Door looked at them both.

Richard nearly had a heart attack.

"Jesus! Where did you come from?"

"I've been here the entire time, idiot. Good to know you're still scared of me.")

There the list ends, because the Marquis got bored, as is his wont, and Richard ran away from Door.

Later, when the other two are asleep, Richard reassures himself that the Marquis himself isn't exactly a saint either. He can be bitingly cruel when he wants. He lies and cheats and steals things (and not just the last chocolate digestive). He’s even killed more than a few people. For a while after he came back, Richard slept with one hand on Hunter's knife, just in case.

And, perhaps his biggest flaw (hamartia, says his voice in Richard's head), his opinion of himself knows no bounds.

But Door doesn't wear hers on her sleeve the way the Marquis does.

At first, Richard holds a firm belief – well, as firm as anything gets in London Below -  that it's fluffy animals.

"What."

"Well - " Richard took in the expression on Door's face, recognised it as the 'I am actually about to murder you with the Marquis' crossbow' expression, and promptly closed his mouth.

Door sighed, not unlike a certain inhabitant of London Below with a penchant for resurrection and swishy coats. "How the fuck can your 'fatal flaw' - " she was even doing the air quotes thing as well, blimey " - be fluffy animals."

"Um well. You see. Um. Well, you sort of. Spend a lot of time with them?"

"I spend a lot of time with books, it doesn't mean I have a weakness for Oliver Twist!"

"Yeah but. That's different." Richard cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Why on earth had he decided to cohabit with the two people who made him feel the most stupid? "I just kind of. Assumed."

Door raised an eyebrow and oh my god were they the same person in two different bodies or -

"Sorry," he blurted out, a last-ditch attempt to drag himself back to safe waters.

There was a moment of silence.

Door sighed again, but it was a you're-an-idiot-but-I-love-you sigh, rather than a you're-an-idiot-and-I-want-to-gouge-your-eyes-out-with-a-teaspoon sigh. "You're forgiven. But seriously, Richard, your hamartia cannot be fluffy animals."

Suffice to say, that ruled out that suggestion.

For a while, disheartened by this early failure, Richard didn't attempt another opinion. He preferred instead to clean Hunter's knife, and swap his watch for a decent coat (and no he wasn't copying the Marquis not at all what on earth would make you think that), and try not to get killed. Door and de Carabas helped with the last one, obviously. As mentioned previously, Richard is not the most warlike of Warriors.

So he sort of left the matter to quietly gather dust in a corner of his brain for a few months. That is, until the Earl Incident.

Really, it should be called the Second Earl Incident, because of course they'd had a run-in with him previously, but de Carabas didn't count that as an incident because no one almost lost their life apart from himself, and, as he said, he had been in possession of a spare at the time.

Anyway, whatever you want to call it, the thing with the Earl happened long enough after Richard returned to the Underside that he felt like he was finally getting the hang of things, which was the reason he in all his fledgling confidence deemed it necessary to speak up. As we shall see, this was not altogether the wisest of decisions.

He was bored. The negotiations had been going on for at least an hour, and they didn't seem to be getting anywhere at all. Door's hair was sticking up all over the place, and her forehead was permanently crinkled with exasperation. The Earl's face was one big frown line. Even the Marquis had loosened his necktie a little.

“Young lady” - Richard flinched subconsciously at the expression on Door’s face -  “I recognise the instability of your situation, truly I do, but I simply cannot understand why you expect me to enter into an alliance with the Shepherd Queen, of all people."

Door sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Because, Earl, as I have mentioned several times, we plan to unite all the baronies and fiefdoms. Which, like it or not, includes you and Her Majesty."

The Earl made a sound halfway between a cough and a whale being sick. "But surely you remember what that woman did to me!" He fumbled amid his furs for a moment before locating one of his pudgy fingers and holding it aloft triumphantly. "See?"

The assembled company peered at the digit.

"See...what?" Door asked, one eyebrow quirked in puzzlement.

"Look! There!" The Earl stabbed at the proffered finger with another. "No, there! Temple and Arch, girl, are you blind?"  
Richard moved a little closer and finally caught sight of what he guessed the Earl had to be referring to: a tiny scratch across his knuckle, about the length of one and a half grains of rice.

"That," said Richard, "is a paper cut."

There was a moment of silence in which the Earl grew steadily purpler and Richard regretted his life choices.

"What did the Warrior say, Halvard?"

"Richard." That was the Marquis, who had appeared from wherever he had been watching the proceedings from to stand slightly in front of Richard in what Richard recognised as his 'you'd better get out of here because some things are about to go down and I'd rather you didn't have to watch' position.

"Um?"

"Run."

Looking back on it, Richard doesn't really remember much after that. He's pretty certain the Marquis did something clever involving a puff of smoke and a shoehorn, but he couldn't tell you what. It's only later, with the benefit of retrospect, that he realises the true gravity of the situation.

"Door?"

"That's me."

"Um. I was just. Well. Y'know the thing with the Earl?" Richard's hands twisted around each other in his lap. He'd never quite been comfortable with conversation. Sure, it was easy enough when you were running for your life, but take away the danger element and it all becomes a lot harder.

"No, Richard. I'd forgotten since last week. Thank you so much for reminding me. Of course I know, idiot."

"Oh. Well. Um. Look, I was wondering - " He sighed, swallowed, and tried again. "Why didn't you try and get the Earl on our side again?"

Door looked at Richard.

Richard stared bemusedly back. Was he supposed to say something? Had he missed some sort of subtle clue? Temple and Arch, she could be unnerving when she wanted.

"Why d'you think, Richard?"

The question startled him out of his semi-rapture and he nearly knocked his tea mug off the table. "I - what?"

But Door had already turned back to her book, a small smile curling like a cat around the edge of her mouth.

"Isn't it obvious?" The Marquis snapped later, when Richard had worked up enough courage to ask him. "They were going to kill us. The Lady Door does not take kindly to potential allies threatening her...friends."

"But... I messed up?"

The Marquis sighed. "Of course you did. It's what you do. And I fixed it, because that's what I do."

Richard presumes de Carabas meant it as an insult (he usually does), but he can't help being strangely okay with the description. Richard makes mistakes. The Marquis fixes them. Door fixes the Marquis.

It works. It doesn't always work perfectly, but it works.

* * *

It takes Richard quite a while to find out Door’s weakness.

And when he does, he wonders how he’d ever missed it before.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote the two halves so far apart they're like different stories omg


End file.
